1. How to Build Mental Muscles

    May 24, 2013 by Heather

    “How do you find time to meditate?” I’m asked this question a lot and, my response is, “How do you have time to feel like crap?”

    Working on your inner world is a full-time job. It’s not something that you just pick up and get. It’s a constant, ever-evolving process. At first, it seems daunting because you feel like you have so much work to do. That’s your ego talking. It wants you to procrastinate, especially on the things that are most important. But know that this work is the best you can and will ever do.

    Building a meditation practice is just like building an exercise practice. You start working out and feel stronger but the results don’t come for a few months. And as you get stronger, results come and you feel like a better version of yourself.  If you fall off the exercise wagon, you lose your muscle tone. It’s the same thing with meditation. If you fall off the meditation wagon, you lose touch with your intuition. You choose to forget about your intuition and listen to your ego.

    I was talking to a dear friend of mine the other day and she was really stressed out and having a tough time making some business decisions. She’s usually on-the-ball and is really good at allowing things to flow to her with ease. That’s actually one of the things I admire most about her. But that day, she seemed off.

    “Are you meditating?” I asked.

    “No,” she said.

    She went on to say that she felt totally unaligned since she fell off the meditation wagon.

    “Of course,” I said. “And you wouldn’t be asking me for advice now if you were meditating every day…because your intuition would be running the show again.”

    FitFluentialEnjoy1This is the single-most important tool in our spiritual toolbox.

    Period. End of blog post.

    Okay, not really end of blog post but you get my jist. ;-)

    Can you think of the last time that you wanted to respond to an email or a text message with a nasty remark? Can you think of a time when you were so quick to judge yourself in the mirror and didn’t think twice about it? Can you remember a Facebook status or tweet that made you want to scream and so you did – in all caps – in the comment section?

    Meditation helps us to stay present and not react. That means we still feel our stuff but we don’t have to send that nasty text message or email, we re-correct our body attach thought with a loving one, and we refrain from commenting on that status in all caps. Instead, we can give it the 24 hours and, if it’s still bugging us, we can address the issue. Likely, though, after you feel your stuff (and perhaps vent to your bestie), everything will have dissipated the next day.

    Five minutes spent in stillness every morning can change the course of your entire day. Choose a guided meditations from my Meditation playlist and get going every morning. Paint your blank canvas with something good every morning. And carry it with you throughout the day. Just breathe, so you can activate your inner teacher. Your breath brings you back to your present moment. Get to work!

    How are your mental muscles?

    Stay lovely,
    Heather


  2. J’adore la vie Week 25

    May 23, 2013 by Heather

    How can you try to embody love in all situations? How can you try to be love in all situations? Most importantly, when you’re not embodying and trying to be love in all situations, can you forgive yourself with ease? 

    This is the crux of a J’adore la vie mindset. 

    Jadorelavie2

    It’s not so much about being love 24/7. That’s unrealistic for us. We are spiritual beings, yes, but we’re also here having a human experience. And that means we’re going to ebb and flow out of a loving J’adore la vie mindset from time-to-time. Take last night, for example.

    I am paying off my student loans and my loan company had been calling me the past three days to let me know they hadn’t received my payment. I’d already sent in the payment, so I didn’t bother calling back because I knew they were going to receive the money within a few days. Last night, I was at work and my phone rang. I saw it was the loan company and I immediately got pissed off. “This is the fourth time in three days!” I thought. “Could they stop harassing me?!”

    I picked up the phone and, annoyed as hell, said, “Hello?”

    “Um..hello, is Heather home?” said the meek voice on the end of the line. Immediately, she could feel my energy. Why do you think she said “um?” She felt it too. I was that stereotypical person who bitches at telemarketers. It was sticky and unauthentic, and, most of all, I was projecting my frustration onto an innocent employee who is just doing her job. So, what did I do? In the moment, I noticed my behavior, asked Spirit to intervene, and forgave myself for my poor attitude. Then, I apologized to the kind woman. She was actually doing me a favor by informing me of my “past due” loan, because she didn’t want me to accrue a late fee. I gently explained that I’d already paid my loan and all was well. We parted with a laugh and kind words.

    So, see if you can embody love in all situations today. And when you don’t, forgive yourself and take action to make the situation right.

    Quote of the Day: Your power lies in your ability to serve others.

    ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

    Maya had a #jadorelavie moment on her yoga mat.

    J'adorelavie418

    Heather sat by the lake and admired the beauty that surrounded her.

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    Debbie was reminded by Spirit to keep dreaming.

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    Lizzy reminds us that all relationships and encounters are assignments for us to grow and learn from.

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    Claire‘s heart melted as she saw her babies sleeping.

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    Amy rocked a dancers pose in Fenway Park. So rad!

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    Jordan chilled outside in the warm weather with a drink and her dino!

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    Cemre rocked her infinity ring with confidence. So fierce, sister!

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    Lizzy found this rad wall art.

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    Sloane is far into her ED recovery. So far that she can read this book without being triggered. Amazing, sister!

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    Katie struck a pose with her fur child, Molly!

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    Ree got a new “Gratitude 365″ app that she’s loving. It helps her remember all of the things in life that she has to be grateful for every day. LOVE that. Thanks for sharing, Ree!

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    Keep loving and forgiving, babes!

    Stay lovely,
    Heather


  3. The Best Detox Ever

    May 22, 2013 by Heather

    TheBestDetox

    We have to feel our pain and our feelings in their entirety in order for them to be released. The reason why so many people “play it small” throughout their life and don’t reach their full potential is because they skip the first and most crucial step: feeling it and witnessing it. And even if people do feel and witness their behavior and recover, they are tempted again into that behavior. And when they’re tempted, they think they’re doing something wrong. 

    The Universe is not testing you because it wants you to be miserable and have all this pain. That’s your ego talking. The Universe is testing you because it wants you to train your mental muscles. It wants you to become a pro at training your brain to say yes to love in all situations. That’s the goal. And as with everything, we can’t get there without lots of practice. ;-)  This week, this lesson has been clearer to me than ever. I’m being tested over and over again to learn my lesson in regards to a relationship with someone close to me, and it’s painful. But I know it’s because the Universe wants me to master the lesson so I can teach it to others. This is the message of The Healing Detox.

    The Healing Detox has three phases:

    Phase 1: Feeling it & Witnessing It.

    The cliche that says the first step is always the hardest is not just a cliche – it’s true. Feeling it is painful but it’s the number one step to moving forward and freeing yourself of that behavior. At this point, you feel triggered  and still act on it but still know the behavior is whack. So, you  might still send that impulsive text message or email, or you might still overeat, or might still pick up a drink. The difference is that you have witnessed the fact that you’re engaging in it. As opposed to just acting on it without giving it a second thought. Success!

    Phase 2: Surrender Your Ego

    Here, you feel triggered and act on it but realize that you don’t have to act on it. You realize that you have self-control. You don’t have to send the text or the email, you don’t have to bring out your claws, you don’t have to pick up the food. So, you feel whatever is coming up for you, witness your behavior, and surrender your ego’s way to your inner teacher. Ask the Universe to speak to you through your inner teacher, so you can be guided. Surrender doesn’t mean that you give up – it means you transfer your power from your ego to your inner teacher. Then, patiently wait with faith.

    Phase 3: You’re Healed

    The next time the situation comes up, you just don’t go there. You don’t send the text or email, you don’t overeat, you don’t bring out your claws. And better yet, you’re even more in tune than you were before the destructive behavior showed up. You’re shinier and newer than you were before because you decided to surrender your way to the care of this loving energy. At this point, you can feel it and witness it, surrender the behavior, and know that you love yourself too much to do that to yourself.

    I went through all of these phases and, now, I just don’t go there. I’ve built the mental musculature to be able to witness my thoughts without judgement (“Okay, my ego is telling me to binge.”) and to not be tempted into an immediate response. I wait and then surrender by asking myself, “What would Love do?” Love wants me to be fulfilled. Binging always made me feel empty. I don’t binge. Then I thank the Universe for giving me the opportunity to confront my fear again, to be tempted again just so that I can further my healing process. 

    In reality,  you’re being tempted because the Universe loves you so freakin’ much. The Universe wants to test you again and again so you can become a pro at handling it with love. So you can accept the assignment you’ve been given, ask what you can learn from it, and ask the Universe to help you handle it with love. The Universe is your co-pilot. Beforehand, you thought that you were all alone. But that’s not true. You have guidance inside of you and all around you. Your task is to call on your inner teacher to help you handle the situation with love. So, are you ready to buff up your mental muscles and detox from fear and pain?

    Are you ready for your detox?

    Stay lovely,
    Heather

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