Warning: Menstrual talk is on the horizon.
It’s been a long road to get my you-know-whatsit back. I first opened up about my struggles with amenorrhea in July, right after Matty and I returned from our Long Island getaway. I was more determined than ever to do everything in my power to get my period back because, obviously, whatever I was doing was not working.
I was discouraged because I thought, after three years of recovery from my eating disorder, it should have already arrived. After lots of daily prayer and meditation, I realized it was time to get out of my own way. I decided to start taking progesterone every three months to produce a period, which has been working really well. I’m happy that my body is responding easily to the progesterone because that verifies my ovaries are functioning properly and that I don’t have any hormone imbalances. The last time I took progesterone was the week of Thanksgiving, so I won’t be taking it again until February.
At the beginning of this week, I was feeling so moody and felt waves of the blues coming and going – very unlike me. I chalked it up to Christmas drawing closer, meaning the reality of this Christmas being the most challenging of my life was being shoved in my face. Not having my family together this year, as I’ve mentioned, is definitely painful. Aside from that, I was just feeling “blah” and having funky ego-derived body image thoughts coming into my mind. I’m not used to the ego speaking so loudly, so it was really uncomfortable for me. I tried meditating and doing yoga through it but it didn’t work. I realized I just needed to feel my shit and reside in that uncomfortable feeling. “That’s not weak; it’s just being real,” I told myself.
Then, on Thursday afternoon, I noticed something: spotting! For the past three days, I have been spotting. It is a beautiful sign from the Universe that lets me know I’m doing all the right things. It also verified my mood swings and funky ego thoughts. I think that a common misconception people have is that you have to stop all exercise, eat a bunch of unhealthy food, and drink Ensure to get your period back. I believe this stems from our Western culture’s desire to get something back as fast as possible and, preferably right now. I took the opposite approach. I’ve been taking it slow.
I’ve been doing yoga and lightweight/bodyweight toning, in addition to increasing my fat servings. According to the RDA, I was previously eating enough fat for the average person at my height. But, when it comes to that macronutrient, I’m not the average person – I need more than the average person. And that’s okay! In fact, that’s great – because it makes me…me. And I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I feel more connected to my body and more content with my lifestyle than ever before.
I’ve made a lot of adjustments. My snacks always include healthy fats. I’ve been loving raw Brussels sprouts dipped in hummus (don’t knock it ’til you try it!), raw nuts, and chia/flax puddings. I have raw nuts for a snack almost every day, actually. For my raw salads, I’ll put 1/2 an avocado onto my salad with hemp seeds or pair tempeh and avocado. For my cooked meals, I typically add 1 Tbsp. coconut oil to whatever I’m preparing. I can’t stress enough to you that eating more fat does not make you fat! So many of us say “I love me some healthy fats!” but still have this underlying fear of “eating too much” of them. I know you’re out there! I was that girl once too. But your body knows best, my friends. It always does. It will never fail you unless you allow its physical exterior to be the driver. Your inner guide (your voice of intuition) is the driver – your physical body is the passenger: just along for the ride.
Be the best version of who you already are.
Stay lovely,
Heather
Yayyyy!!! I’m so happy for you. You’re definitely doing something right ;D And I seriously love my healthy fats. I eat a ton of it and it does noooooot make you fat – hate when people say that! Love you <3
THANK YOU, beautiful! I know…it’s such a shame that society put that idea in our heads. I mean obviously too much saturated fat from animals can make you super unhealthy but all the plant-based goodness? BRING IT ON.
Yay, this is great news, girl!! I’m very happy to hear this
Your body is happy and healthy and doing exactly what it should!
Amen sister!
YAY!!!! So happy for you! You are such a positive inspiration for so many women Heather. Keep taking care of your body!
Aww Danielle thank you, love! You’re such a wonderful friend. <3
Congrats! I just got mine back yesterday for the first time in 3 years too. It’s weird… I wasn’t expecting it at all but I guess it’s a good thing. Good for you though, that’s awesome
CONGRATS Sarah! That is so so so incredible. I’m so happy for you! Thanks for your love and support.
So happy for you! Keep us posted on progress! Did you have to gain any weight or did the fat increase alone work it’s magic?
I don’t weigh myself ever. When I was in the throws of my ED, I was OBSESSED with numbers and weight so I steer clear of that. Now, I just want to do my thing and allow my body to come along for the ride. My pants still fit the same. I’m pretty sure I’ve gained a 1-3 pounds of muscle judging by my increase in strength. But, honestly, I think omitting HIIT and increasing fats simultaneously put my body in a much happier space to work its magic.
Congrats!! It is so great to see your dedication and hard work paying off
.
Thanks so much Hannah! It really is such an awesome feeling.
I love this: your body “will never fail you unless you allow its physical exterior to be the driver. Your inner guide (your voice of intuition) is the driver.” <–So beautifully and truthfully stated! It fills my heart with hope and joy knowing that your period returned naturally. Congrats! <3 I'd love to chat with you more about this, as I'm dealing with similar issues. Maybe we can Skype or FaceTime soon? Miss you! <3
Oh my gosh YES! We MUST do that. I’d love nothing more than to talk with you, Sara! I miss your freakin’ amazing presence.
Email me heather@fortheloveofkale.com and let’s make it happen.
Such wonderful news, I know your journey will continue in this positive direction. And amen to embracing healthy fats.
Holla, girlfriend!
This is such a great teaching moment and so true for all of us; befriend the uncomfortable feelings (ego) which will then soon dissolve. “I realized I just needed to feel my shit and reside in that uncomfortable feeling. “That’s not weak; it’s just being real,” I told myself.”
Lovely post Heather
Thanks so much, friend! Your support and love has been so incredible. Happy holidays!
I still can’t congratulate you enough on this beautiful gift and cannot share with you enough how much your journey inspires me daily, BB! You know me well – you know I enjoy foods with healthy fats (and “unhealthy” fats) but that they still scare me. Every time I question myself before eating a fat, I really do think of you but also try to remember that I am ME and my cravings for fats are my own, others’ fat intakes do not matter, I just need to do me and not the ego. And look what happens when you do – miracles!
YAY!!!! Im So happy for u! Ive struggled with amennorhea for too long and IDK how to get mine back either. If I may ask, how much fat (% of your diet) are u needing to eat in order for “aunt flow” to visit?
I ask because maybe my perception is too low. Also, how do u balance the rest of your macros?
Do u add fat to every meal and snack, and if so, how much?
Thanks for the help…and Im so happy for u!!! As annoying as it is to have a period, it’s even more annoying to NOT have one. U are such a ray of light!
Hi Bee!
I’m not measuring my fat – just making sure I’m getting fat at most meals and snacks. Small handful of nuts, 1/2 avocado, a couple dollops of hummus, a dollop of coconut oil. Also, decreasing the intensity of my workouts (yoga, POP Pilates, and light weight/body weight toning). I believe that the two together is key!
[...] I can’t thank my friend Sara enough for making me aware of it’s existence. In one of Heather’s entries she included the [...]
[...] As a result of stepping into and releasing that fear, I grew and the miracle came. The miracle was yoga. This is the pattern of happiness. We have to face our fears in order to experience growth. And when we experience growth, we experience miracles. [...]