Well, hot damn. We made it through week one of May Cause Miracles! How do you feel?
“Good” is not an acceptable response, FYI. We’re goin’ deep here. 
I began May Cause Miracles two weeks ago so that I could make sure all of our newsletters were ready and on-schedule. I can tell you that, two weeks ago, I felt funky. There were some ego-based fears that came up for me and I didn’t even realize they’d existed. I’m so grateful for this. Here are my fears and here is what I’ve learned from them:
- I am fearful of success, because of the possibility of failure.
- I have determined that this one isn’t really a bad thing. Why? Because we’re always going to be afraid of failure on some level. Failure lies on the exact same plain as uncertainty – and we need uncertainty in order to keep living life. What would life be like if everything was certain? Besides boring, it simply wouldn’t be life. We need to live with a delicate balance of certainty and uncertainty. So, my solution is to amp up my faith. If I have faith and work hard and in the direction of love, I know that the Universe will organize and self-correct itself in my life through miracles. This is faith. And this makes me fall in love with uncertainty. It’s not woo-woo crap. It’s just the way life works when we get out of our own way.
- I am hung up on a body image-related insecurity: my cheeks.
- My dad pinched my cheeks all the time when I was younger and called me “pulky” or called my cheeks “pulkies.” Pulky sounds like bulky, so I translated my dad’s loving gesture into something negative. I’ve carried this fear with me for most of my life, and it is one of the first things I look at when I see a picture of myself. No more! Now that I know where this illusory thought came from, I’m looking in the mirror every day and telling myself, “You are a container of love.” Taking the focus off of my exterior and focusing on feeling my body’s true purpose (to serve and give love) is making all the difference. Plus, I don’t want to be anyone but myself – exactly how the Universe created me. The actual thought of being inauthentic literally makes me sick to my stomach! And I know that you wouldn’t come back here if I wasn’t being my true self.
- I am fearful of disappointing my dad and I am addicted to him saying, “I’m proud of you.”
- This hit me right between the eyes the other day when I realized that hearing my dad say “I am proud of you” brings me a mental high – but not the good kind. I’m not accepting in his words as truth because I believe it – I’m accepting his words as truth because he says it. This is an example of using external thoughts to validate my internal state. This never leads to happiness – it only leads me to craving it even more. Just like an addict. I’ve changed this one around really quickly, I must say. It’s easier because I really am proud of myself and I just needed to remind myself that I don’t need anyone to validate this. EVER.
So, while these unexpected fears did come up, I’m so glad they did. Because the more I close the door on my fears, the more I open the door to miracles. The Universe really is amazing in that way. The energy you put out is exactly the same energy you get back – and this all stems from our thoughts and how we view our situation.
Now, it’s your turn! What stuff came up for you? Anything goes. This is a no-judgement zone. There are no right or wrong answers; there are just experiences. Share positive, enlightened thoughts and share your fears too. It’s so powerful to word vomit everything out there. Sharing your thoughts and experiences does not make you weak – it makes you human. You will be serving others too because, chances are, there is someone else out who is going through the exact same thing as you.
Stay lovely,
Heather
